The Heart Doesn't Win at Chess

Posted on Fri May 9th, 2025 @ 7:04pm by Lieutenant Commander Harrison Knox & Lieutenant Ayryn Trynn M.D.

1,333 words; about a 7 minute read

Mission: A Silence of Friends
Location: USS Thunderbird | Deck 1 | Captain's Ready Room

The door hissed closed behind him, sealing off the bridge’s hushed tension.

Lieutenant Commander Harrison Knox stood alone in Captain Rylan Gray’s Ready Room, the muted lights casting long shadows across the floor. The room smelled faintly of herbal tea and polished wood, a stubborn holdover from Rylan’s Betazoid heritage...and that familiar scent twisted something inside Knox’s chest.

He moved to the desk without thinking, fingertips brushing across the smooth surface where so many of their conversations had begun. The desk still held the slight 'organized disarray' Rylan favored: a stylus lying half-askew over a PADD, a chess set in mid-game off to the side, frozen in a position Knox recognized instantly. Playing with himself no doubt thought Knox.

Knox sank heavily into the chair.

For a long moment, he simply sat there, elbows on the desk, hands steepled beneath his chin. His heart pounded in his ears, louder than the distant hum of the warp core, louder than the low murmur of the bridge crew just beyond the door. He had command now. Technically. But it felt hollow. Temporary. A borrowed coat that didn’t quite fit.

Rylan should be sitting here.

Knox closed his eyes. His mind drifted to the last real conversation they'd had, before Harrison screwed everything up, when Rylan reprimanded him over yet another disastrous chess game. "You don't think enough moves ahead," Rylan had said with a grin, nudging a bishop into perfect position. "You’re all heart, Possum, but heart doesn’t win at chess."

The words echoed now with cruel irony.

A sharp, hot wave of anger rose inside him, directed at the anomaly, the sickness, the universe for allowing it to happen to someone like Rylan. His fists clenched. His breath hitched.

Without thinking, he slammed his fist down hard onto the desk.

The crack of impact filled the room like a phaser blast. A stylus clattered to the floor. The chess pieces jumped, one of them—a knight—toppling over onto its side, defeated.

Knox stared at the fallen piece, his chest heaving. He drew in a slow, ragged breath through his nose, forcing his heart rate down.

He couldn’t fall apart. Not now. Not while the crew needed him.

But stars, he wanted to.

He stood, pacing in front of the viewport, the stars outside crawling slowly against the darkness. Every part of him wanted to be down in sickbay, standing vigil at Rylan’s side. But he knew better. Right now, the best thing he could do for his captain—his friend—was to keep the ship steady. To lead. To be the officer Rylan believed he could be or at least used to believe he could be.

Even if it felt impossible.

Knox turned back toward the desk, hands braced on the surface, head bowed.

"Heart doesn’t win at chess," he murmured aloud. "Maybe not. But it sure as hell wins at everything else."

He straightened, tugging at the hem of his uniform jacket, trying to find the professional detachment Starfleet expected. It wasn’t coming. His heart was too full, too raw. He needed help grounding himself before he faced the bridge again—before the crew saw how close he was to unraveling.

He tapped the desk console, voice low and rough around the edges.

“Computer, locate Counselor Ayryn Trynn.”

The reply came almost instantly. It informed him of her whereabouts. Right...Sickbay where everyone seems to be

Knox nodded to himself, then tapped his combadge.

“Knox to Counselor Trynn. If you feel up to it, I could use someone to talk to."

There was a brief pause, filled only by the quiet static of the open channel.

Taking the moment she needed to finalise updated treatment protocols before answering, Lieutenant Trynn wondered what had been happening outside the bubble they had placed around Sickbay. Earlier she had heard Dr Ryan speaking with the former XO - and current acting captain- so hearing his voice was no a surprise. Even if the timing wasn’t ideal.

“Always, Commander… let me get to Dr Ryan’s office.”

Even as she spoke she was in motion, ensuring all of the medical data on their patients was clearly visible. In the moment of privacy she paused, closing her eyes and taking a deep calming breath. Something she had wanted to do for so long but had resisted. She was no Dr Ryan, and she knew how much trust he was putting in her abilities.

Knox kept the channel open and lowered himself back into the chair, elbows on the arms, fingers lightly drumming against the upholstery.

He stared at the chessboard again—the fallen knight, an unfinished game and vowed that when Rylan woke up, they’d play together once again like old times.

No matter how many moves ahead it took, and even if Rylan beat him yet again.

"How...how is Captain Gray doing?"

Sitting at the desk, Ayryn was far from surprised at the question given the history the two men shared. “We are using just about every trick in the book to combat the symptoms, but it is serious. For all of them. But we aren’t giving up on them, I promise. Dr Ryan has a great team.

Normally I would have a lollipop, some tea or at least a comfortable sofa to offer you but these are hardly ideal circumstances. What is on your mind, Commander?”

"The Doctor put you in charge of Sickbay and of the medical department. I can't say I understand that thought process behind that given your background" commented Knox referring to psychiatry.

He took a deep breath. "However, I think your specialization is what is best to lead and organize. Emotions are ramping up and crew are falling sick. Counselor, I need him to pull through this...all of them, but Captain Gray..."

Ayryn arched an eyebrow, “I appreciate the vote of no confidence. However I understand. Many of us are in unexpected situations right now. And I wish I could promise this pathogen is not going to claim more lives. I will do everything possible to make sure that does not happen. I know he is important to you, Commander. And when he is better I will do what I can to help both of you. For now I think he would be comforted to know you are back aboard.”

"I'm not sure if he would, Counselor, but I will not fail this crew" Knox stated. Yes, he does mean a lot to me thought Harrison Knox. The two had years of history. "Your honest assessment. Should we increase precautionary measures by wearing hazard suits, and shall I begin on having engineering converting places into decontamination chambers?"

“It may be a case of … what is that human expression … closing the barn door after the horse has ran away? But yes, precautions are wise. I will send you our recommendations. The more we can contain this the better. We know what it is, but what we really need is time to find a treatment. Commander D’Sai is by far in the worse condition, I believe due to her physiology. Although…”

Her voice trailed off, deep in thought. “Perhaps we can buy them, and ourselves, more time?”

"Perhaps Stasis?" suggested Knox.

“We have limited capacity for stasis,” Trynn mused, “but we have transporters? Holding their patterns in the buffer is an option, especially if engineering could ensure sufficient safeguards. It is not entirely without risk however, even with all the safeguards in the world. Perhaps worth discussing with our chief engineer?”

"Transpoters have been utilized for unconventional means before, and yes, that's an option though as you said high risk. Between partern degradation and other potential risks, we'd be rolling the dice."

An alert on the monitor caught her attention. “I’m sorry Commander, I need to get back.”

Knox nodded. "Keep me updated, Knox out."

 

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